Crafts For Today

Today I made a frog. Its fucking legit. His name is Kim Fowley and he's a rock and roll legend who knows the score. And he can jump like a demon.

Whatch him jump!! (nb. scroll very fast)



I forged him out of my classics assignment task sheet. Oooooo catharsis.
And I took my sweet time, not because it was difficult. Just because I'm a champ and I earned it.

"Well spent Wednesday evening Callum!"

Why, thank you blog!

"You're welcome. now...Shouldn't you be doing you're art research?"

Quiet blog. I'm taking my moment of pride.

Armless Fight

Because its Thursday and everything I thought I'd show you a game me and Jimmy made up whilst in Blenhiem for Southern Jam thing. And no, I did NOT break the curtain. And yes, shit does get real.

The *Afformetioned* Duck Feeding Game (AKA Duckdafuck)

Okay... here we goes. I feel sort of bad sharing this game because its too awesome, but whatevs. I'm impulsive and just too nice.

PREAMBLE

Ever gone duck feeding and been like; "Man... This is exactly like last time. I WISH there was something more to this!" Well, I did once. And so me and Paige competed in the first (and ever, so far) game of DUCKDAFUCK, the best bread orientated duck fun ever*!

REQUIREMENTS

Two or more people

Generic bagged bread (opt. mouldy)

Ducks (make sure you have lots. If you have only a couple then thats cheating and your boring and you chose a really bad place to feed ducks you idiot)

A pad and paper (for score keeping.. yay tally graphs!)

HOW TO PLAY?

Well... it's very easy. More or less, it's an aim game.

Player A, please choose a duck. Now, point too that duck and make sure Player B knows which one you're refering to by saying something like "The baby one with the twitchy head" or "The male teenage one with the gimpy foot" or "THAT one!"

Next, Player B, making certain that you know which duck you've been assigned, throw a bit of bread at it. Your goal is to feed it (It has to eat the bread that you throw at it... duh). For each piece of bread that you fail with, make a mark on a tally graph, like so;

Next; swap the bread for the pad and go again. This time, Player B challenges Player A and so on and so forth until you've gotten sick of the game (impossible) or until you run out of bread (much more likely).

THE WINNER

Play by golf scores. The person with the least tallys on their graph wins. But wins what?...

Always have a prize. It makes it way more fierce. You can decide on whatever you want. Maybe make it a slap bet! (dangerous). Me and Paige were competing for a kick ass round blue exercise cone thing that you might use for goal posts or something in PE. It worked as a mad hat. I didn't really mind when Paige won because it didn't even fit me anyway.... *cries*


HINT... The whole game rests on what duck you challenge. If you give your opponent a real whimpy duck to try and feed, chances are they'l spend ages trying to feed it while the bigger scarier ducks steal its food. You'll probably win through this tactic. I lost through this exact ploy.

This game may sound real easy to the non-duck feeders reading this post. But anyone who has fed ducks knows how crazy competitive they get. ALMOST as competitive as you'll get playing this kick ass game.

*besides duck sandwiches

Run

Seeing as though its monday and everything, heres another game we invented (this time with the help of Axle). It's called Run.

PREAMBLE



Ever found a random tennis ball in the park when you're bored and have no idea what to do? Well, play this game. You'll be giggling in no time. It's utterly simple and has little to no rules.



REQUIREMENTS



Three to ten people.



A park (a big one with lots of grass. They typically are the ones where you find balls from people with dogs).



A FOUND tennis ball (it has to be found).





HOW TO PLAY



The most important thing to remember with Run is that in it's purest form it is entirely spontaneous. Even writing down the rules dulls the awesomeness of the game. As with the best made up games, the rules aren't important.



To adhere to the spontaniety clause, the ball used in Run MUST be found. Only then may the game commence. If a ball is manufactured or someone plants it earlier it defeats the purpose of the game (as NOW you're all like "Wow... I can't believe they didn't catch me out for planting the ball! I am such a sluth!" No. You're a cunt.



Once a ball is found a game of run can be declared by shouting "RUN!" The person with the ball is IN.



Whoever's IN must throw the ball under the legs of another player to get back OUT.



Intimidation is called for and encouraged. Scary faces, noises and insults work best to put off another player.



That's pretty much it. And remember to run.





HINT.... Climb a tree!

The Only Turn Game

Dearest Friends, today (being a Monday and everything) I thought it would be nice of me to share with you a game which I made up (with the help of Oli. But of course Oli helped. When isn't he there? Answer; never). I hope to make this game thing a regular occurance. I guess il post them as often as I can remember them. Its called The Only Turn Game.






PREAMBLE

This game is perfect for playing when extremely bored in town when your waiting for a bus, or waiting for Edwin to show up so you can give him his birthday cake which you made.



REQUIREMENTS


Two people (may be played with more... see Wiked Spins);

A large Activity Space (central city Christchurch works perfectly);

A very very bored state of mind. This is key. If you are even in the slightest sense entertained (maybe theres a 12 year old busker doing mime outside the bus exchange... what an idiot), then this game will seem more boring in comparison. However, if you are extremely bored, then this game could possibly be the most fun you've ever had.



HOW TO PLAY

In its simplest form, The Only Turn Game is merely a way to make boring walks around town intersting.

Firstly, choose a destination. Secondly, walk there. However;


Player A may only turn left.
Player B may only turn right.


And thats all there is to it.



PUNISHMENTS


If a player breaks the One Rule of the game (which is idiotic seeing as there IS only ONE RULE) a punishment is issued. The punishment is agreed on by players beforehand and can be anything you like. Here are some examples;


- Must walk in barefeet for the next 5 minutes. This is lethal in the summer with such burning hot concrete in town. Plus the threat of standing on glass is pretty scary.
- Must drink puddle water
- A slap with a jandal (Summer)
- A whip with a scarf (Winter)
- A dare is issued


(nb. dares shouldn't be stupidly impossible/terribly imbarrassing. Remember, you may have to recieve a dare in the near future, and we want to keep a good natured vibe to the game. The Only Turn Game has the potential to break friendships)



WIKED SPINS


- For a wiked spin on the game, follow the above rules, but play TAG (the hands-down greatest and most simplest game in all of the world).

This is a dangerous addition to The Only Turn Game, but really makes the most out of it, and tests the tactical skill of the players. Also, it allows for Multiple Players (To play, the person who is IN can only turn the opposite direction to everyone else).

Simply play TAG with the addition this simple rule, and you will find happiness in the dizzy mess that The Only Turn Game can bring.

HINT ...If only turning RIGHT, you can turn LEFT by making three RIGHT TURNS. If used well, this technique can result in the "dizzy mess" as hinted at above.

Good luck. As with all games, don't be afraid to experiment and come up with new rules and variations. If you come up with a really wiked one, email me. Id love to hear it.