Short Story: Highway Hedgetrollers

Once there was a butterfly who was the happiest butterfly on the planet. He was a monarch which means KING and for him all days were glory days. Except one...

Because on one unfortunate day, the monarch was resting on a garden path when a VILE CHILD came along and touched his wings. It felt like monarch had walked right under a waterfall. He sat on the pavement, felt his spirit seeping out of the blemish on his lovely wing.

Suddenly he was joined by what the Animal Kingdom knows as HIGHWAY HEDGETROLLERS, more commonly known as badgers. Gingerly, the badgers took him in their paws and carried him along the hedge until they reached a trove deep in the forest where bird calls echo like raindrops. Monarch suddenly felt at peace with himself.

The rough badgers placed him on the grass and whistled. On his whistle, a hundred squirrels came and started making a huge daisy chain that they placed in a ring around him, and then squirrels and badgers alike formed a circle around monarch and sang his life into a song.

By now, monarchs spirit had seeped fully out of him but it danced on the breath of the singers. monarch's wings fluttered in the wind as he sighed and let himself go; to forever dance on the breath of anyone who is singing.



***improvised txt short story circa 2009

Alex Varanese

God I hate designers sometimes. Why can't this be real??!

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tick tick tick tick

Today I "officially" finished work on both my art folios. Yup. Both of them. I had a mammoth couple of weeks getting them finished, but ultimately I am extremely happy with how both of them turned out. It kind of makes me realise what it would be like to be a parent; creating and raising these two beautiful creatures to fully developed independent entities. And now, after a brief period of fond appreciation, I must part with them, and they from me, wishing them luck upon their journeys to Wellington (absurd parallels to my own parents current experience: noted).

I would complain about how little sleep I've gotten this past month, and how hard it all was, and the stress and all, but, honestly, I'd be exaggerating. It wasn't really that bad. Sure, I didn't sleep, and I was pretty exhausted for a while, and I almost completely disregarded all of my friends, but I made it. And looking back from this end, I don't know why I was whinging so much. I was totally capable of this thing. It was a challenge, sure. It pretty much dominated my thoughts all year, yeah, granted. But now it's over, I'll be stoked to be able to do it again. This year has made me want to go to art school. Not just to see how it goes, or because it's the next logical step. But because I REALLY WANT TO GO. It's also made me way more confident in this next year; because I have a plan to come out of it. Something to look forward to.

If, next year, I end up finding a life, changing my path, becoming a person or whatever this idealistic unformed human expects from non high school life, then that's awesome. I will continue that path. But if I go and completely fall of the rails, like, wipe out, shit hitting fan, end up miserable, lonely and without direction... then I get to pack up and go to art school. Bam. Solved. I think taking a year to play the 'come what may" card is not a bad plan. Because, ultimately, I'm not drifting. I'm doing.

I got to tick two big red ticks through my to-do list today. It's amazing how quickly the feeling of accomplishment turns to fear, of shit yet to do. I better get working. I still have to Schol Art submissions to finish.

Speaking of finishing; I finished reading Mayor of Casterbridge. And I have two more days of high school. Ever. Yeah.

Theatresports party tomorrow!

I'll be sure to put up photos of my babies soon.

Time for a celebration sandwich.

Do the Drew

When we were in Hamilton for rockquest national finals, we got interviewed by that Drew guy from C4. This was after a number of encounters with TV personnel, having had a mini-doco short thing made about our band in July (iiish?), and filming an episode for the Erin Simpson Show in August (I thiiiink). Overall, the process really told me a lot about how they go about making TV. From what I can assume, it's done quickly, efficiently, with as much forced emotion as possible, and yet with zero to no sentiment. These guys KNOW they're making disposable entertainment. And it's their job to churn it out, all with fake smiles and happy handshakes and best wishes.

It really demystified the whole process for me. I mean, the attitude they had resembled smugness, and yet they constantly put down their jobs. Like, they were aware that what they were doing was seen as exctiting, but like hell they were going to admit that. I dunno, it's really hard to judge their level of enthusiasm, to tell what isn't forced.

I felt sorry for Drew though. He tried soooo hard to be enthusiastic; like, fake smiling and laughing and asking us about our band name and stuff, which always delivers awkard responses from us (not his fault there).

I worry that this sort of happy veil is all these TV guys have got. What happened to the TV presenter people who were legitimately funny, and seemed to actually like their job/were good at it? Happiness is great, but it's not a substitute for humour. Aaah, well.

Anyways, here's an extremely awkward interview that proves none of my points. It's Drew vs. MGMT (he tried SO hard).

Makes Me Glad

I've been listening to The Magic Kids' album Memphis on repeat (WHAT??) for the past week during extreme arting sessions. It just fills me with painless happy happy glad times and washes away the hours of chair-sitting and neck-bending. They're all for the good times, and are promoters of the gf/bf, hand-holding idealogy that is oh-so addictive this time of year.

I found this video of them playing in a backyard somewhere with dozens of children. It makes me feel less worried about being in a band that children like (although, many of these kids seem to be crying). Kids love happy music. I love happy music. I am mostly a child anyway. Why worry about being badass? Let Mike Dirnt worry about that.

Sleight Of Hand

This year for printmaking, I'm using lot's of old images of stage magicians and the like. Through my research I found this video of Hugh Jackman promoting his blasphemic powers of witchcraft.

To-do

Man, these past two months have really disappeared. School for me this year has been an ever ceasing to-do list, so I've been living under self-imposed hibernation for a while now (see this time last year), forcing myself to do work that I've managed to go to ludicrous lengths to avoid (art art art art english english english classics classics music).

Procrastination is a young mans game. Being a young man, I take every opportunity to live up to this expectation.

For instance, I was given a copy of Thomas Hardy's novel Mayor of Caterbridge (a gripping account of the ups and downs of English wheat exchanges) on sign out day last year, preparing me for the 7th form Scholarship English class that I had managed to get into. The thought of completing ample preparation for classwork ahead of time (no doubt resulting in an engaging and stimulating learning environment) produced an excitement that motivated me through the first three pages of the novel. And that was where it stayed until about a month ago. I'm not going to lie to you. I had plenty of time to read it during the entire term we spent studying the book (an entire term that was essentially lost on me). And yet, I somehow managed to convince myself that the months lying ahead of me until the november exam provided me with endless opportunities to catch up, at my leisure, and read one fucking book. How wrong I was.

I'm currently halfway through, reading a strict chapter a night. It's actually not too bad. Everythings sosososooo melodramatic! Can I get a big *M* for melodrama? Look, I don't CARE that your daughters actually not your daughter but shes kept unawares while she lives with your mistress who's actually in love with your competitor who your dead wife wanted your daughter marying but she can't because she's meek but slowly coming to terms with herself and her hidden beauty but the townspeop;'.le hate you becaus...e you're actually a cunt but her!!! real fgathers!!! actually alive acxfnd reclaims her and yoru forieigi ntioe wheatiodknrojtbro88k;....8...ensobrietyoa..th. ntoiwu';.erbh religiousechosekpepe!!1!!

AHHRHGG IT'S ALL SO IMPORTANT TO EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE!!!!

I need to go outside for a moment.