To-do

Man, these past two months have really disappeared. School for me this year has been an ever ceasing to-do list, so I've been living under self-imposed hibernation for a while now (see this time last year), forcing myself to do work that I've managed to go to ludicrous lengths to avoid (art art art art english english english classics classics music).

Procrastination is a young mans game. Being a young man, I take every opportunity to live up to this expectation.

For instance, I was given a copy of Thomas Hardy's novel Mayor of Caterbridge (a gripping account of the ups and downs of English wheat exchanges) on sign out day last year, preparing me for the 7th form Scholarship English class that I had managed to get into. The thought of completing ample preparation for classwork ahead of time (no doubt resulting in an engaging and stimulating learning environment) produced an excitement that motivated me through the first three pages of the novel. And that was where it stayed until about a month ago. I'm not going to lie to you. I had plenty of time to read it during the entire term we spent studying the book (an entire term that was essentially lost on me). And yet, I somehow managed to convince myself that the months lying ahead of me until the november exam provided me with endless opportunities to catch up, at my leisure, and read one fucking book. How wrong I was.

I'm currently halfway through, reading a strict chapter a night. It's actually not too bad. Everythings sosososooo melodramatic! Can I get a big *M* for melodrama? Look, I don't CARE that your daughters actually not your daughter but shes kept unawares while she lives with your mistress who's actually in love with your competitor who your dead wife wanted your daughter marying but she can't because she's meek but slowly coming to terms with herself and her hidden beauty but the townspeop;'.le hate you becaus...e you're actually a cunt but her!!! real fgathers!!! actually alive acxfnd reclaims her and yoru forieigi ntioe wheatiodknrojtbro88k;....8...ensobrietyoa..th. ntoiwu';.erbh religiousechosekpepe!!1!!

AHHRHGG IT'S ALL SO IMPORTANT TO EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE!!!!

I need to go outside for a moment.

Know Thyself...

Let's face it, Socrates. You're a jerk. Just look at you, in your robe-toting ignorance. Fucking wanker strutting around telling people they know nothing, not chipping in his fair share of the political duties, whilst going on and bad mouthing the whole system anyway! Well, YOU think of a better political system than democracy, you mind numbing twat.

But NO, instead you claim ignorance, and yet continue to question the authority and organisational structure of a system that you choose to have nothing to do with. You then spread the word to a bunch of kiss-ass tyrants who take pride in bending your message to validate their self-centred political aspirations.

Go do something with your life. Why not take a leaf out of the sophists book? They did alright, eh? Despite being shunned politically, and disowned by any man with philosophical standing in Athens, they avoided living to the age of 70 in complete poverty! Poverty, Socrates! Look at you! You're an old man, this can't be healthy. Have some self pride. Cut your hair every now and then. Bathe for Christs sake.

Frankly, Socrates, I'm worried about you. Do you really have to be so fucking impolite to people? Just learn to accept people for who they are. And maybe, if you do that, you'll come to accept who YOU are. There's nothing more emotionally crippling than self doubt.

All I'm asking is that you make sensible decisions, and try to live out the few years you have left with a litttle financial security. Who knows, it could be fun. You've got a lot of potential. Just don't fuck it up.

Good luck wth the next one Mr Brown.

lol

I spent the entire weekend studying classics (read: reading Dan Browns new encyclopaedia). For those of you who are unaware, classics was sort of my one subject this year that I could miss. See, I couldn't miss art because i love it and it loves me. And I couldnt miss English and Music because those were sort of important to my future... and my "PLAN". And I couldnt miss maths because im scared of my maths teacher. And Art historys awesome, and far far too much fun (well... was. *tear*.) and thats it. SOO, whenever I had a music lesson or was really hungry or had far too much art to do, it seemed Classics had to bite the bullet, despite the fact that Mr Drurys the man, and I even went to Italy early this year on the class trips of all class trips. Well, it didnt stop Classics from going straight through me. I cant remember why I did it, I mean, I didnt really do very well at history last year... wait.... so, why DID I do classics this year?? If I knew I was going to be bad at it. Hmmmm....

OH WAIT!!

So that brings me to today. The Odyssey went quite well (its pretty much english) and so did the pompeiian art bit. Everythign was going actually pretty smoothly, so by the time I got to the essay on Athenian democracy I was in a pretty good mood. But unfortunately Athenian Democracy as a subject doesn't hold the delights that you would expect from a topic that examines political developments of a era that we found underground. And plus I was sort of accidentaly absent for the good part of the topic. Oh, and dont forget Dan Brown fucking things up. And I didnt have a big breakfast. And the exam examiner lady was reading a book on GRAMMAR which made me laugh for a solid hour.

ANYway. Like halfway through my fluff filled essay on male citizenship I sort of, gave up. Mid sentence even... I just sort of realised I didnt know nearly enough to help me pass. This is sort of what happened (I'll note with a * where I gave up);

The punishments towards Athenians who broke the rules of Citizenship were incredibly strict. If a person broke the rules of citizenship, or pretended to be a citizen the * Athenian Police would arrest him. Then, they would make the offender sit in a small steel box in the sun for a week to think about what he had done. Then, if by the end of the week the non citizen had completely repented for his sins, they would give him a ten minute head start. After which the townspeople would chase him with long swords and sharpened wooden poles to the edge of the city limits. Then, the townspeople would celebrate with a strict and rigidly coreographed dance. The End... Well, I'm hungry. I'm thinking I might go get a sushi ball.

I get my results in January, so I'll defs let you know how I went. God I love NCEA.

PS. I still cant find that fucking chord. I guess no one will ever believe that Oli truely jumped that river... he did btw.

EDIT: I got my results back!!!! AAAAAAND Not Achieved. Ha. Saw that coming. I got very excited when I saw that it had been moderated, but Sam kindly reminded me that thats random. Huh. Next year!

my art foliolioliolio

Its my baby.

B. A. B. Y

(yay for collage!)

Wa Wa Wah?

Things are starting to get very intense lately.

It sort of all just hit me this week... like a vicious simile. I realised how little time I have and just how much shit I have to get done.

For example... This week one monday night I completed my art history internal (that was actually due LAST tuesday... but as a class we had collectively forgotten). I was up til 2:30 doing that. But I could have got it done quicker but I got badly distracted by some far too intresting people. Tuesday I painted at school until around 5:00 and then walked home, then slept. On Wednesday I had band practice, then Samba Band practice with Jeremy Thin at CSM til around 6. Then I came home and started my English Research project. Worked til twelve that night.

On Thursday night I worked until 3:00 am on English Research. It was shit and I could have started it much earlier but its 3 credits so it doesn't reeeally matter.

Sure sure, everyone has pressure. But I've never had this much before so I'm sort of slowly starting to freak out. Plus Ive still got two music internals due on Wednesday as well as my art folio due next Thursday (FUCCCKK!! And I have to do three times as much next year!!! AHAHSGF) and then Cambridge English exam that Friday. And then just after that my NCEA externals start. So its fun for the whole family.

This year Ive learned its okay to fail. But I dont want to fail.

On a related note, we were informed yesterday that Art History (the GREATEST subject ever) is cancelled for next year. This will NOT do. Me and Eli are going to fight to keep it. Its going to be a sick mission. Possible documentary opportunity.

Im going to go paint.

I think I may be going deaf...

It's not that bad. It happens to everyone/anyone who plays in a band and goes to poorly mixed and overtly ouch inducing live shows and listens to music very loudly on headphones. But im not complaining.



I'd much rather be deaf before im 21 then listen to music at a reasonable volume.



But the deafer I get, the louder I have to turn up the music to make up for it.



Whenever I play someone music off my mp3 they go "WOOAH, turn it DOWN! Are you trying to kill me??!"



Im not trying to kill them.



My ears rang for ten minutes today for no reason.



I dont want my ears to ring for no reason.



Now, I wear earmuffs at band practice.



On a related note, I told my History of Art Class that my dad assembles earmuffs for a day job. He's probably assembled most of the earmuffs in the South Island for the past 15 years. All the big earmuff companies get their earmuffs manufactured at the factory in Christchurch my dad works in. He's really good. In fact, he probably assembled the earmuffs in your garage.



My dads really an architect.

NB. Not really my dad... Its an illustration.

Counting Down....

I've been strangely anxious about something all day.

Its sort of like those mysterious unidentified jitters you get when your excited about a party or an awesome movie you've been dying to see. So yeah, its like the bad version of that.

I think the main culprit is the looming school term. It's the Saturday before term 4 begins. Yes, term 4. And that means its exam time, stress time, no party time and (because I'm a extremely paranoid person on better days) IM GOING TO FUCKING CRASH AND BURN time.

So I'm worried that I'm wasting my time today doing nothing before school makes me do a million things all at once. But maybe thats a good thing...

Today was pretty all right. Highlight would have to be going to the Court Theatre matinee of that Roger Hall play about retirees on holiday. Being a Roger Hall play (cited as "New Zealands most trusted play write" lol, poor guy) and being a matinee, it was full of chuckling retirees (and beyonds) reliving their days of travelling overseas as youger retirees.

Being one of the youngest people in the audience, I found myself in a unique position of being able to stand apart from the group of them and spy on their modest admiring glances and moments of self reflection. Even though I enjoyed the play, I was fascinated by the comfort the aged audience found in such a simple reflection of their own lives. Having not had a life yet, I concluded that I have much to look forward to.

But first, its time to FUCKING CRASH AND BURN!