tick tick tick tick

Today I "officially" finished work on both my art folios. Yup. Both of them. I had a mammoth couple of weeks getting them finished, but ultimately I am extremely happy with how both of them turned out. It kind of makes me realise what it would be like to be a parent; creating and raising these two beautiful creatures to fully developed independent entities. And now, after a brief period of fond appreciation, I must part with them, and they from me, wishing them luck upon their journeys to Wellington (absurd parallels to my own parents current experience: noted).

I would complain about how little sleep I've gotten this past month, and how hard it all was, and the stress and all, but, honestly, I'd be exaggerating. It wasn't really that bad. Sure, I didn't sleep, and I was pretty exhausted for a while, and I almost completely disregarded all of my friends, but I made it. And looking back from this end, I don't know why I was whinging so much. I was totally capable of this thing. It was a challenge, sure. It pretty much dominated my thoughts all year, yeah, granted. But now it's over, I'll be stoked to be able to do it again. This year has made me want to go to art school. Not just to see how it goes, or because it's the next logical step. But because I REALLY WANT TO GO. It's also made me way more confident in this next year; because I have a plan to come out of it. Something to look forward to.

If, next year, I end up finding a life, changing my path, becoming a person or whatever this idealistic unformed human expects from non high school life, then that's awesome. I will continue that path. But if I go and completely fall of the rails, like, wipe out, shit hitting fan, end up miserable, lonely and without direction... then I get to pack up and go to art school. Bam. Solved. I think taking a year to play the 'come what may" card is not a bad plan. Because, ultimately, I'm not drifting. I'm doing.

I got to tick two big red ticks through my to-do list today. It's amazing how quickly the feeling of accomplishment turns to fear, of shit yet to do. I better get working. I still have to Schol Art submissions to finish.

Speaking of finishing; I finished reading Mayor of Casterbridge. And I have two more days of high school. Ever. Yeah.

Theatresports party tomorrow!

I'll be sure to put up photos of my babies soon.

Time for a celebration sandwich.